Saturday, November 28, 2009

I got tagged by the ever so gifted Sarah, off in Wonderland, and I'm ever so thankful and excited about it. Thank you Sarah!

So I get to answer these questions and I hope you enjoy this as much as I do!

What is your mood? I'd say it's something like this, comfortable clothes, and a dreamy heart that is ready to either be swept away in a book or my own stories

Where did you grow up? I grew up here in Alaska for the most part, but when I was three we moved to Missouri (which I still can't spell) and lived there for five years. I'm so glad that we moved back though, for while I'll always love the farming parts down there, but it was the first place where my imaginative little soul was attacked. I still have to fight off the ghosts of those days. My mom says she's finally seeing the little girl she lost fourteen years ago come back.

What was your dream last night? Prepare yourself for something very strange. I was driving past the university, (only it didn't look like the university, but it was) and part of it was on fire. One of my friends who joined the Air Gard was there and he said that someone (a bad guy) had shot a flaming arrow at the roof, after dropping a baby down the chimney. (don't ask) anyway, my friend had saved the baby and it was really the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen, he had golden eyes and the sweetest smile. So I took the baby and ran away with him because the bad guy, which was now a dragon, wanted the baby dead and was chasing us. I ran into a house and we went down and down all different stairs and trap doors and the dragon kept fallowing us. Finally we got down to a grating that lead to the water system under the road, which we went into. And then I woke up, fell asleep again and had another dream, but I won't bore you with that one too.

What is your favorite store? The Antique Shop! I've spent hours upon hours there and hardly noticed.
What is your hobby? oh goodness, I have so many, there's knitting, ballet, writing, drawing, acting (on occasion), reading, researching, baking. Maybe these aren't all hobbies, they're just things I love to do. Does that count?

What is your fear? A cage. To not be able to be impulsive or wild or free. To be stuck in some dull grey office doing things I hate, unmarried, and never loved.

What is on your wish list? A typewriter, wouldn't it be wonderful to curl up with tea and a blanket in my room and type out my story? I would stack up each page as it was finished and then, when I took a break, I would put them in one of my suit cases to be read later after the dust had settled on it for a while.

And a carpet bag, this one here isn't exactly what I'm wanting, I imagine one larger, like the one Mary Poppins has.

Your friends? Are books mostly, I have one extremely treasured friend at dance and I feel so blessed to have her, we've been though some hard things this semester, but our friendship has stayed strong, she is my bosom friend. All so all of my dear and wonderful friends here, you are all so sweet and encouraging you have no idea how much you mean to me. I appreciate you all very much.

Where do you want to be in six years? Here. Or some where like it, my own nice little cottage in the woods, either married or alone, but writing every day and making all sorts of beautiful things. I'd like to make my own clothing line, kind of, but it be where I gather up used clothes and remake them, vintage, and maybe new clothes I've designed, all with a common theme and sell them in my own little shop, either real or on etsy. But mostly I want to happy, where ever I am and what ever I'm doing I want to be happy and content.

Your life? Is good. I'm satisfied with it for now, things have been very hard this year, but I'm convinced they'll get better, and I've been working my hardest to focus on all of the blessings I have. There are so many, I have a wonderful family, and while many aspects of dance have been hard, I'm going on pointe in January. The list is very tedious and long, so I won't bore you with it, just believe me I'm grateful for what I have and I plan to enjoy it to it's absolute fullest.

Okay, now I get to pass this on,

I'm going to give it to Sara of we are dreamers for being so sweet and a very good friend and leaving such wonderful comments. :)

Marisa or the little Miss Thumbelina who always leaves such deliciously long comments that are so fun to read, not to mention she's a fairy.

If any one else wants to do this tag please go a head, I just wasn't sure who else to give it too, sorry! I'd say more, but I'm a bit sickly this weekend, so I'm going to go rest some. I love you all!

glitter snow,


Wednesday, November 25, 2009


A poet's meanings are never clear and the author's heart is hidden. the ink that bleeds, the veins in paper, the heart of soul that beats. what gives life to words? what fills their shells with flesh and blood? is it passion? is it tears? is it thought or time? what puts the beating heart inside? what makes the meaning flow? how does the hope and despair, the life and the death, the wonder and blindness happen? how does the ink stained author pour reality into fantasy? how do they make you feel another's pains and joys, how do you breathe at the same pace as they? how do you hear the cries of their soul louder than your own? how can letters and words, mere ink stained in patterns, portray a whole life or a whole other world, when we, here, can't even understand our own? what makes this wonderment possible? what gives black and white figures life?
there must be reasons, there must be answers. how? how? how does the sun stay where it is? how does the lover know that he loves? how does the ocean hold its self in? how does the bird decide to come down from the sky? how does the dreamer find her dreams? how does the snow stay white and how does the rainbow bend? how does this questioner never want answers and how can the earth really spin? where is the answer to all these things? I think the book must be burned, for while some answers are sacred others are blasphemy.
the sun sets so early this time of year, which I suppose is kind of sad, but one good thing is that, the sky is always a beautiful color.

I want to fly away on my Pegasus, galloping, flapping, floating,
across a powder blue-berry peach-purple sky.
I want to shake the down blankets, the watch it gently snow,
on all of the resting little train-town below.
I want to harvest candy canes and build a castle by the sea,
I want to hold a ball in my candy cane castle, right next to the sunshine sea.
I want to dance and paint sugar plums so that all of the world can spy,
me fly away on my Pegasus across the powder blue-berry peach-purple sky.

I wrote all of this in my journal earlier, with a dip-pen, I think it was for that reason I was unable to stop. I hope you all have a beautiful Thanksgiving or just a beautiful week.


Saturday, November 21, 2009

My mind wanders and my mood is impossible to pinpoint, it's restless and longs to wander, but to be settled too. I guess it's a sort of dreamy gypsy that can't decide what she wants, so she's stuck in between roaming and staying, dreams and reality, fantasy and truth. She wants to go whole-heartily into everything, every passion, every dream, every wish, but she can't choose, she doesn't want to choose, and she's not fully free yet. Don't worry, I don't plan on choosing, I've decided pursue all of my desires and which ever ones happen go with them. I've spent too much time fighting the wind, I'm ready to let it blow me where it wishes, making the ride easier and less painful.
I've got a big assignment due Tuesday in my art class, it's my project we've had to do so far. I'm not sure how to describe it, but it's got drawings and words and has to do with wandering travels. I'll show you it when it's finished. My plan for this post was to show you some of the things I've been wanting but can't afford, but I lost heart when I saw that Anthropologie isn't selling the boots of my dreams any more, they were $258, which is way to much for me, but I was thinking that maybe I would try saving up for them because they were perfect, (brown leather, knee high, with a pretty winding ruffle) and I actually was able to justify buying them in my mind. And now there gone, I'm very sad about this. The bad thing is this isn't the first time I've fallen in love with a pair of shoes and lost out on them, the other time it was the prettiest powder blue Mary-Jane's on etsy, has this ever happened to you? sigh. This isn't good. Oh well, I can't stop dreaming about owning perfect shoes and frankly, I don't want to. Silly me, anyway, I hope you all have a lovely weekend and enjoy all of the many things your thankful for!

Friday, November 13, 2009

The sky was a beautiful peach and blue this morning, so I saved a piece for you. This week will consist mostly of dancing, drawing, and a little bit of writing, if they make me. Saturday night after I was all ready to fall asleep she whispered her beginning in my ear and said, "tell my story Clara, tell my story" so I had to get up and write in out. I think this will happen quite often now. The mazurka costumes are finished. Some are red and some are blue, (mine is blue) sometime I will show the whole outfit, they are extremely cute with our aprons and flowers in our hair. But the best news is that we get to wear real tutus for cygnets! I'm so excited last Friday we spent a long time working on it to fix all the problems and the last time we danced it (in front of the whole company) we did the best we'd ever done. Here's my favorite version of in on YouTube. The way we do it is a little bit different, and of course we're doing it on flat, but it's great for getting the idea if your interested. It's fun because my teacher is really into us knowing the history behind our characters, so even though we're just swans, and not special like Odette, we're still enchanted princesses. It's funny, but I dance much better when I imagine I'm an enchanted princess or a snowflake that when I just focus on the steps. It's more fun that way too. I hope this hasn't board anyone, I love you all!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

What a long day, full of drawing out pretty pictures (in art class), ballet, watching the snow fall, eating cinnamon bread and pumpkin bread, drinking tea, and listening to music. A few other un-perfect things were involved in my day as well, I just try not to talk about them here. I've been collecting pictures of rooms and houses that seem like a home to be, and isn't this picture just dreamy, I know it's not the flowery and white kind of dreamy, but it just seems like a place you could live, well to me anyway. Here's some things I'd really like to do soon.
  • Bake custard
  • write a story
  • read a romantic fairytale (like Princess and the Hound or something)
  • knit a sweater (I have to make my sister leg warmers for her birthday though)
  • watch Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightly version, I haven't seen it in so long and it's like my go-to-when-ever-I-need-something movie)
  • go to the Library and a used book shop (can't though! my stack of books to read is too long already)
  • buy a typewriter (this is a desperate need, not really, but I'm close to convincing my self it is)
  • do dreamy kind of journaling
  • eat lots of chocolate

I started (barely started) reading Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens, if you ask me, this time of year is just perfect for his books. I've also decided that this year at Christmas, I'm going to make truffles, the rich, creamy, kind. Well, this has been kind of random, but fun, I hope no one minds. I am very tired and my cozy bed of pillows and blankets awaits to escort me off to Neverland.



Thursday, November 5, 2009

this time of year

cinnamon, ice skating, slippers, pumpkin pie, remembering, popcorn, mittens, reading poems and stories out loud to my brother and sisters, apple cider, crossword puzzles and family games,
the smell of burning wood, breakfast tea, candles, baking, fluffy pillows and warm blankets, hand sewing and knitting, piles of books to read, blushed red apples, laughter,
dancing while it's dark and snowy outside, pictures with a golden light, braided hair, fuzzy socks, old movies, home, acorn squash, the smell of heated honey and milk,

wool hat and coat and mittens, crystal coated trees, ballet music, secrets, stars and the full moon, puzzles, whipped cream, hiding things,

Monday, November 2, 2009

Wow, I'm actually posting about something I said I'd try to post about! These are the costumes my brother and sister wore this year. Timothy was Willy Wonka from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he's been planning his costume since sometime last year, finding just the right jacket and so on. He made the hat himself, out of cardboard, which is pretty impressive for a ten year old if you ask me. Yes, I'm a proud big sister.
Chana, at the last minute, decided to be a dwarf. The tunic and belt were mine, and she made the shoes, beard, and hat just a few hours before she had to be at the carnival. Pretty big preparation differences, but the finished products turned out good for both, I think.

I got this lovely blog award from the wonderful Anji Jane thank you so much dear! I'm going to pass it on to Katherine, Vera, Mermaid, and Ellie Grace.

I want to post again very soon, but I'm not quite sure what about, is there anything you would like to hear?
love, to you all

PS: 20 followers! thank you, thank you, thank you!