Ever since I read House Like a Lotus I've been on a Madeline L'Engle kick.  And it's been so good.  The perspectives she gives and the questions she asks and the pictures she paints are wonderful.  So the past while has been A Swiftly Tilting Planet, Many Waters, and An Acceptable Time.  I'd like to just share some quotes, as a way to explain.

"For a moment no one spoke.  Then Meg said, "maybe there's hope."

Sandy waved her words away, "Really, Meg, be reasonable."

"Why?  We don't live in a reasonable world.  Nuclear war is not reasonable.  Reason hasn't gotten us anywhere.""  ~ A Swiftly Tilting Planet

"They moved through the time-spinning reaches of a far galaxy.  And he realized that the galaxy itself was part of a mighty orchestra, and each star and planet within the galaxy added its own instrument to the music of the spheres.  As long as the ancient harmonies were sung, the universe would not entirely loose its joy." 

~ A Swiftly Tilting Planet

"Sandy nodded.  His voice came out more normally, "I like the way Tycho Brahe was so in awe of the maker of the heavens that he put on his court robes before going to his telescope." 

"Who told you that?"

"Meg."

"I like that, I really do.""

~Many Waters

Anchorage was lovely, as was the drive.  I hope I can go back soon, but if not it'll be fine, it was just really good to reconnect with a few of my friends.  More pictures will show up through future posts, I didn't take a whole lot, because mostly we were just in shops and I don't like to take pictures in shops.

A friend and I are driving down to Anchorage tomorrow for a fun little weekend vacation and I am extremely excited.  It's going to be primarily shopping, mostly thrift stores if I get my wish (there's only one thrift store here, and while it's good, it is very overpriced), and just lots of fun!  I've been wanting to do something like this for a long time.  We'll be chasing down sunlight, breathing in warmer air, and nestled into the mountains.  Yay, yay, yay!  This is what I've been needing.

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.  Don't search for answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is to live everything.  Live the question now.  Perhaps then, some day far into the future, you will gradually without noticing it, live your way into the answer. 

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

When I first found that quote I knew it was important and I knew I needed it and I knew it was right, but I couldn't understand it.  Not really.  How could one stand a room locked up with no notion of what's inside?  How can you love the questions without seeing the answer?  But God's helping me get there.  Always lurking in the back of my mind are the questions; what about this summer?  where will I be?  what will I be doing?  who will be with me? but His silent, sliver voice comes "not now, not yet" and the panic can subside.

Now isn't the time, let go, trust.  Over and over and over.  It will happen.  There will be strength enough for what ever is ahead.

I think of loving the question without the answer rather like poetry or wordless music, it holds such an abundance of meaning, you can't discover it all, you can't bleed it dry.  You just have to savor it, like a sunrise or a star-filled sky or a glass of wine.  It can't last forever, and the world might not get better when it ends, but you can soak in the moment as much as you can.  Quit trying to see in the dark and look at the heavens, there is the purpose and the beauty and the healing and the rest that can never be exhausted.

Maybe that's how one lives a question.

Love isn’t always a two way street.  Sometimes it’s barely even a trail, sometimes you have to help each other up as you fight not to slip back down the steep and muddy way you just came.  Sometimes it’s a rest stop.  And sometimes it’s nothing short of a road side robbery.  And even sometimes it’s just one person, walking on a nice wide wooded path, completely alone.  Sometimes it’s easy.  Sometimes it’s hard.  Sometimes it’s beautiful.  Sometimes it’s bloody.  Sometimes it’s a choice.  Sometimes it happens entirely against your will.  Sometimes it wrecks you and sometimes it heals.  Sometimes it fills your heart to overflowing, and sometimes it leaves it completely dry.  But always, if you let it, it leaves your heart larger then it was before.   Sometimes love gives you everything, and sometimes love means you give everything.