Sunday, July 14, 2013

Well, summer did come, and with a furry.  I'm back at camp, (unexpected) and still at the greenhouse (expected).  The two make for a strange combination, but I believe God has it this way for a reason.  It's been hard.  Completely different from last year in just about every way, I can't help but question and feel lost sometimes.  There are three more weeks left, it's gone by fast, mostly because I've been silently wishing it away.  I feel kind of bad for that, last year I wanted it to go on forever.  I knew it would be over soon, so I made a constant effort to always be in the moment, embracing every adventure and loving every challenge.  In a way I feel like I've failed.  But at the same time, it's a different year filled with different lessons.

Last year was breaking out of so many fears, it was like learning how to fly, this year has a different purpose, and I guess I just don't know what that is yet.  I'm having to address deeper things within myself, past pain I thought was dead, working with people I love but can't agree with on multiple levels... it's just different.  A different kind of hard.

Love, Clara
(oriental poppies, roses, peony)