Hey there, this is gonna be a random kind of post, (which I personally always find rather fun) cause you see, I've been laid up on my back since yesterday when my back randomly decided to quit doing it's job.  I'm not sure why, but I've got a partial day of work tomorrow that I'm praying I'll make it through.  Anyway, none of that actually explained why this post will be random, sorry, so I guess it's because that's what I feel like doing.  Plus there's some little things that I haven't been sure how to share and so I figure I can just do it all at once!  (I don't know if anyone can tell, but I really sound like Phoebe Buffet in my head, I've been watching some f.r.i.e.n.d.s. episodes today so, that's why.)

Anyway, I've been reading and knitting, though as of today, not the book or the project in the picture above.  I did start reading Mere Christianity yesterday, and it is awesome, but today I read The Glass Menagerie (which was very good) and am currently in the middle of Gathering Blue (also good, but I have yet to discover how it connects to The Giver).  I am knitting that hat, and it's looking lovely, by the way, it's just really difficult to maneuver double pointed needles while lying on one's back.  So I've been mostly working on an Aran sweater I'm really excited about.  It's creamy and wool, and I will mostly likely live in it come next fall. Of course there will be pictures when it's done.

This is a throw pillow I made for my sister several years ago, I was in her room and it looked so pretty there I decided to take a picture and show you guys.  Those little lace roses on it were actually left overs from when my mom made her wedding dress, and the fabric was from a skirt I made back in ninth grade.

And then this, this wonderful, amazing, delicious food that I haven't been able to get out of my head for the months that it's been since I went to Anchorage.  My awesome friend who we stayed with while we were down there took us to this wonderful Himalayan restaurant the first night we were there, it was packed and once we got the food I knew why.  It's called Yak and Yeti, and seriously, if you are ever in Anchorage Alaska, GO THERE.  It is so so so so good! And get the chi tea, which is what I had in that cute red mug in the picture, it is amazing, creamy and full of flavor, not too sweet.  Oh goodness I want it so badly right now.  No chi tea has even come close to comparing since, and I've looked, I really have.

One more thing, which is kind of related, because it's food, are these muffins.  I've made them twice now, and they are really, really good.  So yeah, that's it for now, I'm gonna go watch an episode or two of Pushing Daisies.  Have a good night and a lovely weekend!

Love, Clara

Recently finished up these fingerless mitts for a dear sister, using this pattern here.  I wanted to write more, but I am completely incapable of thinking of anything else to say it seems, so I guess this is it!  Have a good night and a good weekend!

Love, Clara

Knitting little elephants... aren't they cute!? That's the sleeve of a sweater I've been working on, and I'm so excited to see how the whole of it turns out.  Reading quite a bit too... I deleted my facebook about a month ago and am taking a break from pinterest too, I wanted to use my time in more productive ways.

It's been a nice break, and has brought about a lot of contemplation about loneliness and other things.  I've come to believe that I've been using facebook and pinterest as basically a painkiller for the loneliness, so that it's still there, I'm just more numb about it and dwell on it less.  Which is good in some ways, but bad in others.  Somethings there just aren't cures for, at least not instantly, and I go back and forth on believing if loneliness has one at all, ever.  Some say that there isn't others say that there is, and I guess I don't know yet either way.  But that's okay, I guess it's another question I can be excited about asking again and again.  So that even if I never find the answer I've found the question's poetry, which is almost the same thing.

Love, Clara

An explanation

Well, I'm back.  I'm not sure what to equate it to, except that I suddenly wanted my old blog back, so here I am.  I'm so sorry for overwhelming your feeds for the day by transferring posts around from Saltwater Eyes, hopefully it wasn't too annoying.  I don't know where I'll be going with this space from here exactly, but I'm planning it to be free and fun.  I've got a lot of knitting to share, including several completed projects (!) and just life and what I'm reading and finding inspiring.  So it should be nice, also the biggest news would be that I'm starting by third season at the greenhouse tomorrow!  I'm so excited, though still in a bit of shock I think that it's come so quickly.  These past six months have blazed by and while I'm quite ready to be in the sun, I'm not sure I'm ready for everything else this will bring.  Also as a heads up, I'm hoping to refresh the face of this blog soon too.  So there you have it!  Blessings to you all, it's good to be back.

Love, Clara

Reading... C. S. Lewis.  Just finished Surprised by Joy and it was so good, absolutely delightful.  And I'm currently in Out of the Silent Planet, which is quite different but wonderful as well.  (of course, I mean it's C. S. Lewis!)

I've been planning some sewing projects, drinking lots of earl grey, just watched BBC's Wives and Daughters, and managed some long neglected mending.  The sun is setting later and rising early, in fact it's light out now when I drive to work.  I'll be back at the greenhouse in three weeks and I can hardly wait.

Time has sped by so quickly, it's been over six months now since getting back from camp and my birthday, and while so much has happened and changed it also feels like there's no way we could already be most of the way through February.  It's strange.  And full.  And empty.  And slow.  And much too fast.

 There's been a lot of white lately; snow, yarn, paper, plates, pages, sky... my skin.  But the light is returning, and the temperatures rising, and I think that does something for creative juices.  Last year I was writing like a mad lady and this year it seems to be an art explosion.  It's lovely.

 I don't know if snow glitters anywhere else like it does here.  Since where I live is technically a desert (!) the snow isn't wet and pack-able, instead it's dry and crystal-ly.  Like glitter or sand.   It blows around on the roads, sparkles when the sun shines through it, and coats the trees.

There's so much chaos inside me with applying for scholarships and trying to not wonder about what I'm doing this summer, all while still wondering and praying and doing a smashing job at acting like a sea-saw.  The peace thing isn't easy to maintain.

But then there's the bits of beauty that God slips in, the little wake-up of my worries aren't that important, I will get through, it will be good.  And the beauty is free and present and ready to be absorbed, ready to heal.  Like this fantastic imprint left in the snow as I was walking into the library last week.  Life is still beautiful.  The future irrelevant.

in appreciation of tea

dear God, today
I thank you
for making
tea.

tea,yes,tea

through tea I know, I can feel, quite surely
of your very great
smile
that you are smiling upon
tea-drinking
me.

for the soul feels
warm
after drinking tea,
through drinking tea,
while drinking tea,
...and shoulders relax
...and eyes relax
...and thoughts relax

and thanks to you I remember peace through
a cup
of oh-so-lovely hot
tea.

poem by Clara Ellen, 2013
(a very old photo, from a summer long past)